Keats is back!
I don't think I've ever heard anything as wonderful as Eve telling us it was time to push. It was the most incredible moment of the last 15 hours. It finally felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. It was time. All the discomforts of pregnancy, all the distress of the prenatal OCD, all the pain and exhaustion of labor were totally worth it because we were going to meet our son in a matter of moments.
Jessa and I slipped into the tub to bring our little boy earthside. I followed my instincts which instructed me to push against the tub with my legs and squeeze the living hell out of Jessa's hands. Between contractions I remember thinking how sorry I was that I was hurting her hands, that sorry went away pretty quickly when the next contraction came and I would squeeze harder than the last one. Sorry babe😬 (Jessa: I honestly don't even remember her squeezing my hands... so it's all good.)
I pushed for about 30 minutes guided by Eve and supported by Jessa. It was an incredible out of body experience when I was pushing. It was so interesting to think on it later because I had been consciously using sound as a way to cope and work through my contractions during labor, but the sounds I made while pushing were completely out of my control. It was primitive and wild and I had no idea I could make sounds that loud.
I remember there was a moment when Eve told me that I could reach down and feel the kiddo's head and it was incredible. Weird. But totally amazing. After that Eve turned to Jessa and told her she could feel him too. J looked at me with total panic and I told her it was ok and really cool and she should do it. She did and giggled her panic giggle that meant she was overwhelmed with excitement and it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen/heard.
It came time for the last few pushes. The original plan had been to have Jessa catch the kiddo and bring him up to my chest for skin to skin. The plan changed when I started pushing and realized I needed J for support. We asked Eve to catch so I could continue to use J's support as I finished pushing. As we got closer to his birth Eve told us that she thought we should catch the kiddo together. I was a little nervous about this, but I am so glad we did. I got ready to push again and Eve told us that his head would be born with the next push and then there would probably be one or two more pushes after to get the rest of his body out. Well he and I were overachievers because he was born entirely in one final push. Jessa and I carried him out of the water and we held him to my chest while J and I cried.
I held him against my chest for several minutes while we waited for his cord to stop pulsing. Side note: did you know that babies are born with 2/3 of their blood in their body? The other 1/3 is still inside their cord! Anyway, we let the cord finish pulsing in order for the kiddo to get all his blood pumped into his body. Once it finished J cut the cord and Eve whispered "Grow and be strong little one" to him (a phrase she says to every baby she delivers when their cord is cut). J got undressed in order to do skin to skin. J and the kiddo got out of the tub and Danka got them tucked into the bed while I got out of the tub to birth the placenta with Eve's help. After birthing the placenta Eve looked at me and said "Congratulations Mama. You are no longer pregnant". It was the second best sentence I had heard that night.
I got tucked into bed next to J and the kiddo while Eve gave me some medication and a shot to help control my bleeding, which was pretty heavy. The three of us rested for a bit until the kiddo got hungry. J lifted him up to lay him next to me in order to start breastfeeding and discovered that he had had his first poop. All. Over. Her. She was covered in meconium. It was pretty hilarious.
We then rested and ate some snacks. Eve gave the kiddo his newborn exam (which he did phenomenally in). We rested some more. Danka gave us a rundown on postpartum recovery (which went right over our "haven't slept in 22 hours" heads). I took a shower (part of my discharge checklist), got dressed, and we were on our way home at 6:00am. Exhausted, sore, and happy beyond belief. You might say our family experienced some serious big magic.