Now we get into the parts of labor that are a bit fuzzier for me so I may have J come in and help fill in the blanks.
We arrived back home around 5:00pm. Mom and Catherine went to go get us food (Noodles and Company) while J and I went upstairs to our room. We turned off the lights, turned on our salt lamps and settled in. The second mom and Catherine left my contractions ramped up to a whole other level. We ate and watched "Will & Grace" and tried our best to rest and relax between contractions, but their wasn't a ton of time. The contractions were coming on longer, stronger, and closer together which meant I didn't get those nice luxurious moments of rest between like I did in early labor. I labored at home for another 3 hours or so before my contractions were close enough that Eve told us to come back in. This time it was just J and I that left for TBC and mom and Catherine waited at our house to hear from us if we wanted them to join us later.
This ride to TBC was not as fun as the first. It was full of contractions that I had a harder time working through because sitting in a car is not how my body wanted to labor. We got to TBC and when we got to the birthing suite Eve took my vitals and did a cervical check as quickly as she could between my contractions (which were about 20-30 seconds apart at this point so it wasn't a ton of time to check). She told us later that she did something she has never done in her midwifery career. She did not tell us the results of my exam. I was only dilated to 3cm despite my labor pattern suggesting I should be much further along. Later, at our 2 day appointment, she told us that she felt like one of our great great grandmothers was whispering in her ear to not tell us the results. Which was spot on. If we had heard I was only at a 3 this labor would have shifted from just being pain to being pain AND suffering.
***Jessa stepping in here. The next hour and a half or so Keaton continued to labor with my support. I asked a couple times if she wanted me to call Marcee and Catherine, to which she said not yet, but she would let me know if she changed her mind. Turns out in the coming hours there would not even be time for me to take a sip of water, let alone grab my phone and send even an update text (Sorry everyone).
Keaton started feeling the urge to push, so she got in the tub and Eve did another cervical check. This time she asked if we wanted to know the results. We hesitated and she said "Okay. It's not time to push, and it's not close to time to push. Keaton, if you have anything that is holding you back right now it's time to let that go. I don't know that you do, but if there is any fear or doubt that is no longer helpful, so it's time to release it." It was awesome, and quite inspiring from where I was. We then established a plan to continue laboring and help Keaton fight the urge to push as much as possible.
Also mad props to our amazing Birth Assistant Danka for capturing so many poignant moments from the labor. Looking back at these photos, most of the time I didn't even realize she was photographing. It is an amazing skill to have. Danka is the best. We love Danka. (More on that later).
Labor land is weird. It simultaneously felt like Keaton was in active labor for days, and also looking back each phase seemed to happen so quickly. So we spent the next several hours (honestly couldn't tell you how long it actually was) trying different tactics to help Keaton manage the pain and avoid giving in to the need to push. We walked the halls. We used the birth ball. We had Keaton lay on her side and rest with a peanut ball (She did not like that, so we moved on quickly). I thought we tried kneeling over an inflatable birth stool in the shower last... but looking at the photos that may have actually happened before walking. Either way, we spent a long time kneeling in the shower.
Keaton just kept saying how painful it was and that she was so tired. Usually, she is really good to take steps to take care of needs. We kept trying to get her to eat a honey stick for a small burst of energy, but she refused. I honestly wasn't sure how to best help her persevere, so opted for staying really close to her face, having her look at me when she felt particularly discouraged, and reminding her to repeat the mantra "I can do this" with each contraction. It kept working, so I didn't even change up my tactics (although we learned plenty in birthing class). Remember our amazing birth assistant Danka? She was often in the shower with Keaton (just getting soaked, I'm sure) to monitor the baby and help squeeze Keaton's hips to relieve some of the pressure. When Keaton would repeat the mantra reluctantly, or with trepidation Danka (who was often working as a stealthy superhero) would chime in with "Of course you can do it. You're doing it Mama." or "One contraction closer to meeting your son. You never have to do that one again." and Keaton would be reminded that she was doing it, and how amazing she really is. As I look back at these specific moments in labor, I am especially grateful for Danka.
At one point during the endless labor time in the shower Keaton, without any prompting switched her mantra from a labored (no pun intended) "I can do this" to a light and inspired "I can totally do this!!" It was the moment during active labor when she was most herself. My wife is incredible. I've always known this, but this night solidified it in ways that I could have never comprehended before watching and helping her bring our son earthside.
Okay, so in my brain we went straight from the shower to Keaton needing to use the toilet.... but the pictures suggest that we were in the shower, then we walked for a bit, rested on the bed, and then she needed to use the bathroom.... The pictures are probably right, I guess. Regardless, Keaton had to pee, and while she was on the toilet she got the overwhelming urge to push again. Eve was there to monitor the baby during a contraction. She said that his heart rate was dipping a bit, which if Keaton was fully dilated that was perfectly normal, but if we were still a ways out we would need to adapt our plan. It was time for another cervical exam.
Many of you know that Keaton experienced some pretty severe prenatal OCD during pregnancy, a lot of which revolved around a fear of being transferred to a hospital during labor. Because of this we did A LOT of planning and talking through how a hospital transfer would go with both of our midwives (Becky and Eve). We did a simulation exercise at TBC with Eve and Eva, and did some exposure therapy where Keaton and I drove to the hospital, toured Labor and Delivery, and worked with a nurse there on what an emergency transfer would look like, (Have I mentioned how amazing TBC staff is? They went above and beyond for us on several occasions.)
Now, Keaton is incredible and put so much work into working through these invasive thoughts, and she made a remarkable amount of progress very quickly. And, I was still super worried at how she would handle if we needed to transfer at any point. (Keaton had a really physically healthy pregnancy, so I knew it would be a really slim chance of that actually happening). I don't think Keaton even knows this next bit.
Labor land is weird. So again, I couldn't tell you how much time has actually passed, but I was pretty sure it wasn't enough time for her to have dilated enough. From the looks on Eve and Danka's faces I could tell they didn't think that was super likely either. When Eve mentioned that his heart rate was dipping slightly I thought to myself "Okay, prepare yourself for a transfer. It might actually happen." We did the cervical exam, and then Eve said one of the best sentences I have ever heard. "Okay! It's time to meet your son!" Against all odds Keaton had dilated from a 4 to a 10 in an hour and a half. Like a rock star.
When we found out it was time to push! I don't think I've ever felt so relieved/excited in my entire life.